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  • Feeling a bit shaky.

    When I got home from work today, there were two cars parked in front of our house, ON our pavement. Now that might not sound like much of an offence, but the pavement is merely packed earth, covered with stone chippings (it's an old, old street). This always annoys me, as you can see the damage that is done, and as we actually each own our own bit of pavement, we'll get sued if someone trips over and hurts themselves.

    Not one for confrontation, I steeled my resolve and put a very polite little note under each car's windscreen wiper, explaining the problem, with pleases and than you's.

    Well, the huge big burly man from next door has just finished shouting and swearing at me on my own doorstep. My OH is away on business at the moment, so i'm just a wee woman (well, not quite so wee!) on her own with him telling me to p**s of etc.

    I'm not one of those finicky neighbours who always complains about any little thing, honest. I just thought that for once, instead of muttering under my breath about it, I shoudl put a polite request that they park on the road, rather than the pavement (huge wide road, double parking not a problem).

    Well, my timing sucked as apparently there were lots of cars as there were lots of people as they had a funeral. I said that I was sorry, if I'd known they had a funeral I would never have put a note out. He just carried on shouting at me, asking did I not know what was going on in the street (why would I, I'm at work all day not a busybody twitching her curtains), and didn't seem to believe that I didn't know they had a had a funeral.

    Now obviously he was very stressed, and apparently the funeral cars got stuck in the snow, and they were 20 minutes late. I repeated I would never have put out the notes if I'd known they'd had family round for this funeral, and i tried to point out they were polite requests. He asked if my OH was in and I said no, then added wasn't shouting at me enough, and told him I found his behaviour threatening. he actually asked me so what, what was I going to do about it. All in all during the conversation, he told me my behaviour was outrageous, shouted at me, told me to s*d off and told me to p**s off.

    I feel abused, and while priding myself on being a modern day strong woman, feel a bit tearful.

    Sorry, just wanted to get it out. Particularly as i am on my own tonight.

    Thanks for listening.

    Caro
    Caro

    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day

  • #2
    Funeral or no Caro, it does not give him the excuse to shout and swear at you like that, especially as you pointed out that you wouldn't have left a note if you'd known.

    You going be ok?
    Kirsty b xx

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    • #3
      A call to the local Police asking for a quiet word in a day or two once things have calmed down re his threatening behaviour (in England a charge of GBH can be brought if you only FEEL threatened) might be enough for him to realise his mistake.

      Whatever you decide it was NOT your fault.
      The cats' valet.

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      • #4
        Horrible horrible. We can understand that he'd had a terrible day, and if we try to be generous, probably wouldn't usually verbally abuse a woman on her doorstep. But it's no excuse - he shouldn't have done that and made you feel threatened. I can understand how upset you must feel. It might be too late to suggest trying to get to a friend's house, so stick around here and chat with a few Grapes until you feel bit better.
        I don't roll on Shabbos

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        • #5
          Not so good Caro, at least you are now in the security of your own home.
          Hopefully the neighbour will calm down a bit after the funeral has finished and come back and apologise. A stressful time for all concerned, clearly.
          Bob Leponge
          Life's disappointments are so much harder to take if you don't know any swear words.

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          • #6
            Thanks guys. Think my neighbours on the other side (nice ones!) are back. I'm going to pop round for a cup of tea and moral support. I can't believe the network of support on this forum. Back in half an hour, and thank you all.

            Caro
            Caro

            Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day

            Comment


            • #7
              At least you found a use for that pepper mill. [where the sun doesn't shine...]

              Glad your nice neighbours are back, but I'd have reported it....how hard would it have been to say 'sorry chuck, we had a funeral - I'll talk to you about it tomorrow'?
              Last edited by zazen999; 14-01-2010, 09:46 PM.

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              • #8
                What a bully. Funeral or no funeral that's no way to speak to people. Hopefully he'll calme down and realise what an a...hole he's been and maybe even apologise. After all he's got the same sort of pavements and would probably feel the same about people parking outside his property.
                Try not to let it get to you. XXXXXXXXxx
                S*d the housework I have a lottie to dig
                a batch of jam is always an act of creation ..Christine Ferber

                You can't beat a bit of garden porn

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                • #9
                  Oh, bless you, that's awful I've had a neighbour call at me house recently, and apologise for the chaos that was going to ensue when a funeral cortege left from their house the next day. I thought it was really courteous of them, and certainly stopped me from getting het up about the cars double parked all down the street, which I would have done otherwise.

                  I think this man was in the wrong for ranting at you, even if it was the worst day in his life, once you'd said that you were unaware of the circumstances and apologised there was nothing for him to be angry about! I suspect that he allowed his emotions to burst out, and couldn't rein them back in, but that's very little excuse for intimidating someone, and a lady at that.

                  Hope you're feeling better after having some company, take care hun.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Again,

                    Thank you everyone. Feel much better now that I've been able to chat about it, and exchange thoughts (both in person and here online).

                    I don't feel threatened any more, he's just a big fat nasty bully and even for that, is hardly likely to try to knock down my storm doors.

                    It's a comfort to know it's not just me that found his behaviour unreasonable and inexcusable. I'll just write the whole thing off to his nastiness.

                    Thanks

                    Caro
                    Caro

                    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      unreasonable? DEFINATELY!!!!! aww hugs

                      Here's hoping that he calms down and is man enough to apologise tomorrow. You should not have to fell intimidated in your own home Funeral or no funeral
                      Never test the depth of the water with both feet

                      The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory....

                      Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Caro View Post
                        Again,

                        Thank you everyone. Feel much better now that I've been able to chat about it, and exchange thoughts (both in person and here online).

                        I don't feel threatened any more, he's just a big fat nasty bully and even for that, is hardly likely to try to knock down my storm doors.

                        It's a comfort to know it's not just me that found his behaviour unreasonable and inexcusable. I'll just write the whole thing off to his nastiness.

                        Thanks

                        Caro
                        Well, your'e a better woman than me. I would indulge my nasty streak by thinking of horrible ways to get my own back before writing it off to his nastiness!! I wouldn't actually do anything, but just imagining it is a sort of therapy!

                        Glad you are feeling a bit better though xx
                        Kirsty b xx

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                        • #13
                          Hope you're OK Caro, some people are always going to be bullies
                          Location....East Midlands.

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                          • #14
                            Your ranting neighbour is an uncouth pig Caro.

                            Avoid having anything to do with him unless he apologises profusely.
                            If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing to excess

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                            • #15
                              I agree with Eco-Chic, Caro - steer clear of him. You now know what he is like when things are getting tough for him. It will be interesting to see if he comes to his senses and tries to make amends or apologise in the future- in which case you can then revise your opinion of him. When you OH returns, maybe he will get a chance to talk to him?
                              Whooops - now what are the dogs getting up to?

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