That Darn Cat.

By my friends wife.


In my garden I can see
That cat again from 23.
"Go on, clear off" I loudly shout
"No birds will come while you're about!"

I bang the window, shake my fist
Hoping it will get my gist.
But no, it stares with deep distain
That stupid woman's here again.

I know - I'll chase it with the broom
And, running out the living room.
With brush aloft-until I saw
The victims owner from next door.

Pretending then to sweep the path
I smile and give a nervous laugh.
I think he must have smelt a rat
Said "Don't suppose you've seen our cat.

"No" I lie "No, not at all"
(It's sitting on the bottom wall).
"I hope it comes back safe and sound
There are some funny folk around."

Just then a thought popped in my head
The water pistol in the shed!
Hurry off and fish it out
Check the neighbour's not about.

Cats still up there, in full view
(Perhaps deciding where to poo)?
Quickly I undo the cap
And fill it from the outside tap.

Tiptoe over, gun held high
Softly whisper "Cat, Goodbye."
Didn't screw the cap in place
Pour all the water on my face.

"I'm going in. but I'll be clear"
(Tipping water out my ear.
"Cross my path again today
And I will wipe your smile away."

I'll lunch outside, the weathers fine
Got my salad and glass of wine.
I sigh, admitting defeat
The bugger's sleeping on my seat!