Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Another set of truths

Collapse

X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Another set of truths

    How to Make a Woman Happy

    It's not difficult to make a woman happy....
    A man only needs to be:

    1. A friend
    2. A companion
    3. A lover
    4. A brother
    5. A father
    6. A master
    7. A chef
    8. An electrician
    9. A carpenter
    10. A plumber
    11. A mechanic
    12. A decorator
    13. A stylist
    14. A sexologist
    15. A gynecologist
    16. A psychologist
    17. A pest exterminator
    18. A psychiatrist
    19. A healer
    20. A good listener
    21. An organizer
    22. A good father
    23. Very clean
    24. Sympathetic
    25. Athletic
    26. Warm
    27. Attentive
    28. Gallant
    29. Intelligent
    30. Funny
    31. Creative
    32. Tender
    33. Strong
    34. Understanding
    35. Tolerant
    36. Prudent
    37. Ambitious
    38. Capable
    39. Courageous
    40. Determined!
    41. True
    42. Dependable
    43. Passionate
    44. Compassionate
    WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:


    45. Give her compliments regularly
    46. Love shopping
    47. Be honest
    48. Be very rich
    49. Not stress her out
    50. Not look at other girls
    AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

    51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
    52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
    53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
    IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

    54. Never to forget:
    * birthdays
    * anniversaries
    * arrangements she makes

    HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

    1. Show up naked
    2. Bring food
    I am certain that the day my boat comes in, I'll be at the airport.

  • #2
    You're so right SS - men are so shallow
    Hayley B

    John Wayne's daughter, Marisa Wayne, will be competing with my Other Half, in the Macmillan 4x4 Challenge (in its 10th year) in March 2011, all sponsorship money goes to Macmillan Cancer Support, please sponsor them at http://www.justgiving.com/Mac4x4TeamDuke'

    An Egg is for breakfast, a chook is for life

    Comment


    • #3
      I like to think of us realistic and to the point.
      I am certain that the day my boat comes in, I'll be at the airport.

      Comment


      • #4
        So it takes 54 steps to make a woman happy and 2 things only are needed to make a man happy?

        Ah but Steve - I take it those two things are non-negotiable?
        My hopes are not always realized but I always hope (Ovid)

        www.fransverse.blogspot.com

        www.franscription.blogspot.com

        Comment


        • #5
          Don't know, never happened yet but Ahh dream on!
          I am certain that the day my boat comes in, I'll be at the airport.

          Comment


          • #6
            Steve, that's a long list. I would settle for a man just to be human (they seem to be from another planet most days ... I wasn't thinking of Mars either)
            All gardeners know better than other gardeners." -- Chinese Proverb.

            Comment


            • #7
              How to Make a Woman Happy

              It's not difficult to make a woman happy....
              A man only needs to be:

              1. A friend - yes
              2. A companion - yes
              3. A lover - when he's not snoring!
              4. A brother - yes
              5. A father - No kids, so forget that one
              6. A master - of what?
              7. A chef - yes, and qualified (and hence my weight problem!)
              8. An electrician - no, but his Dad is!
              9. A carpenter - No chance - he can't weld wood!
              10. A plumber - Er... Naaah..
              11. A mechanic - yes, current employment
              12. A decorator - not a cat in h*ll's chance!
              13. A stylist - It's his own unique style!
              14. A sexologist - Couldn't even spell it!
              15. A gynecologist - Who'd want to be married to one of those???????????
              16. A psychologist - Naaah - he's male!
              17. A pest exterminator - Yup
              18. A psychiatrist - See 16 above
              19. A healer - No, just shuts it out
              20. A good listener - You gotta be jokin!
              21. An organizer - Couldn't organise a piece of paper
              22. A good father - See 5 above
              23. Very clean - Only when he gets outta the bath
              24. Sympathetic - Only when he's ill
              25. Athletic - OK, he can do that one, but it's censored!
              26. Warm - If the heating's on
              27. Attentive - When he wants something
              28. Gallant - Couldn't even spell it
              29. Intelligent - Obviously - he married me (ROFSMAL)
              30. Funny - Yup (seen 'im nekkid!)
              31. Creative - See 25 above
              32. Tender - Bruises easily!
              33. Strong - Useful for carrying things for me!
              34. Understanding - If he wants to be
              35. Tolerant - See 34 above
              36. Prudent - See 34 above
              37. Ambitious - Yup ()
              38. Capable - Definitely
              39. Courageous - See 29 above
              40. Determined! - Yup
              41. True - to himself
              42. Dependable - to a fault
              43. Passionate - See 3 above
              44. Compassionate - Cries at sad films!
              WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:


              45. Give her compliments regularly - He's given up but I don't blame him!
              46. Love shopping - Sad Git does - I hate it
              47. Be honest - No complaints so far
              48. Be very rich - Ah, got that one soooooooooooo wrong!
              49. Not stress her out - Hummmmmmmmmmmmm
              50. Not look at other girls - He wouldn't be human now, would he?
              AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

              51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself - We're about equal there
              52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself - Ditto
              53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes - Ditto
              IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

              54. Never to forget:
              * birthdays - They don't do this - that's what we're for!
              * anniversaries - Ditto
              * arrangements she makes - Ditto

              HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

              1. Show up naked - They'd just pi** themselves laughing!
              2. Bring food - No need, they can do that!

              Wouldn't swap 'im for the world!


              And, yes, I do like the exclamation mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
              Last edited by Glutton4...; 15-11-2008, 09:07 PM. Reason: Can't flippin spell when I've 'ad a glass of Vino collapso!X
              All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
              Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

              Comment


              • #8
                If you are bringing food I couldnt care if you were nude or female.
                My phone has more Processing power than the Computers NASA used to fake the Moon Landings

                Comment


                • #9
                  Glutton, one word - brilliant
                  Hayley B

                  John Wayne's daughter, Marisa Wayne, will be competing with my Other Half, in the Macmillan 4x4 Challenge (in its 10th year) in March 2011, all sponsorship money goes to Macmillan Cancer Support, please sponsor them at http://www.justgiving.com/Mac4x4TeamDuke'

                  An Egg is for breakfast, a chook is for life

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Men know what they want, and can't understand why women want something different.
                    Women know what men want, and can't understand why a man can't be more understanding.....
                    Flowers come in too many colours to see the world in black-and-white.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      All i can say is "QUALITY" SS - made my Sunday lol

                      Comment

                      Latest Topics

                      Collapse

                      Recent Blog Posts

                      Collapse
                      Working...
                      X