Grow Your Own Magazine

I deliver furniture and help people move into flats for a homeless charity. Us volunteers are all trained up to the eyebrows in how to be "sensitive" and "tolerant" and use the right words when dealing with clients, who it is clearly understood often have not learned the delicate arts of social negotiation. ("Gimme the cooker!" was our most memorable moment ! )
When I first started straight out of training I was all set not to swear, say derogatory things, or risk being misconstrued.
I was going to be a right little po-faced watsit.
Happily we had with us a client volunteer who used lots of ...vigourous .... sign language, (we were in a white van !) threw tantrums, and generally was a law unto himself, albeit with a heart of gold. Seeing how the clients - including, or maybe especially, the potentially "troublesome" clients, dealt with this "special needs" person taught me more than any rule book ever will. Getting on with other types of people is dead simple really. (Simple, not necessarily easy. )
If you have hard and fast boundaries in what you are willing to do, have no malice in your heart towards the people you deal with, are willing to apologise for misunderstandings in order to clear them up even if they are not your fault, and do your best to be WYSIWYG, then by and large people will accept you in the same spirit of sincere goodwill. Where goodwill or trust is lacking, it hardly matters what you say...it will probably be misconstrued. It's the non-verbal signals that matter then.
Political correctness reminds me of a saying that my father used when he was in the police force..."Rules are for the blind obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men".
You can always tell an idiot...he's the person who tries to foolproof a system by inventing ever-more rules, rather than catching the fools when they show lack of judgement ! Don't get me started on social work legislation....

You've hit it right on the nail here Yoandbob: truth was we didnt know he had a problem .
Expectations cause so many problems.

As Snohare says, "Getting on with other types of people is dead simple really. (Simple, not necessarily easy.)
If you have hard and fast boundaries in what you are willing to do, have no malice in your heart towards the people you deal with, are willing to apologise for misunderstandings in order to clear them up even if they are not your fault, and do your best to be WYSIWYG, then by and large people will accept you in the same spirit of sincere goodwill. Where goodwill or trust is lacking, it hardly matters what you say...it will probably be misconstrued. It's the non-verbal signals that matter then."

If you have a good heart and leave pride outside the door, you can move mountains and achieve miracles. Unfortunately all too often some other bastard comes along and kicks the sand castle down.

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Regards, Jane
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy? The creative adult is the child who has survived.
Ursula LeGuin
http://www.etribes.com/madderbat

good will to all who volunteer!

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Yo an' Bob
Walk lightly on the earth
take only what you need
give all you can
and your produce will be bountifull