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24 Hr Care For My Lovely Dad.

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  • 24 Hr Care For My Lovely Dad.

    It's taken a while for me to put the words together, so I'm posting this because I've been inundated with well wishes from friends and fellow grapes asking after my Lovely Dad.

    Just over 3 weeks ago we (my sister and I) had to put Dad in 24hr care for his own safety, it's was no longer safe for him to live independently anymore, he had another nasty fall while he was still in the hospital and banged his head really bad, he's not too bad now but still very confused, I think its the dementia that's the hardest thing to get my head round, one minute he's OK the next he's in la la land, he can't remember my mum or anyone else in colour photos but in black and white he knows everyone.
    It was a very hard decision to make but one that is best for Dad, He's in the home that's attached to where he lived in his bungalow, so he knows all the staff to look at even though he can't remember there names, he has his own room with a fantastic view over the countryside, with lots of his own belongings around him, a big new flat screen T.V and a bed that moves up and down, which he demonstrates to anyone who'll watch, so you can tell he still has some of his sense of hummer.
    I was able to show him all his Birthday messages, I think he was a little overwhelmed with them all, but he said Thank You and asked me to bake another cake for you all .
    So I'd like to say Thank You for all your lovely messages of support, they have helped me so much over the last few weeks. XXXX

  • #2
    I'm sure I speak for all of us...our pleasure, Ginger!
    Whooops - now what are the dogs getting up to?

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    • #3
      Tough decision to make, but I'm glad you've got him into a home with faces he recognises GN. Big hugs to you both.
      PB xxx

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      • #4
        So glad you could do the best thing for your Dad. Well done. xx
        WPC F Hobbit, Shire police

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        • #5
          Happy he's in a safe place and a weight off your mind in that respect. Best wishes to you all.
          The cats' valet.

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          • #6
            I remember when my Nan went into a home. My step-grandfather, who was 24 yrs her junior, was wracked with guilt. My mum was the same and we, as granddaughters were able to be a little less guilt-ridden.

            My Nan thought she was permanently on holiday and that the home was a hotel. She wasn't alone in this, and as some of the ladies liked to keep busy, they thought they worked in a hotel! It sounds a bit sad, but my Nan was very happy for the majority of the time. She had her off days like everyone else. I always think that one of the good things about dementia is that sufferers don't remember the bad days. Nan was the same as your dad with photos - we had quite a lot of coloured photos made into B&W and she would suddenly click who the people in the pics were then.

            Sadly, a few years later we had to have my step-grandfather admitted to the psychiatric ward of our local hispital and from there into a home. He had circulatory dementia and couldn't cope by himself after a succession of mini strokes. He forgot to be a miserable old so and so after dementia struck, and although it sounds horrible to say it, he was a nicer happier man.

            They were both in good homes, although it was sad that they couldn't be together, and even though we all felt guilty, they were as happy as could be in their remaining years. My Nan had been in the home for nearly 10 years before she passed away and even the staff were in tears the afternoon she died.

            I know just how bad you must feel, but your Dad is probably very happy. His home sounds an excellent place. There was no other option for you, and you have done the right thing.

            (((((HUGS)))))

            Jules
            Jules

            Coffee. Garden. Coffee. Does a good morning need anything else?

            ♥ Nutter in a Million & Royal Nutter by Appointment to HRH VC ♥

            Althoughts - The New Blog (updated with bridges)

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            • #7
              Happy and sad news at the same time GN

              A friend of mine has a Mum with Dementia, and she is in a home. She has trouble recognizing anyone, except in pictures, but is generally happy. I guess it is harder for others than it is for the 'patient.' I hope it works out well for you and your lovely Dad!

              Tell him he can have my slice of cake, I'm on a diet LOL
              Last edited by Glutton4...; 13-02-2010, 10:01 PM.
              All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
              Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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              • #8
                You know in your heart you did the right thing.
                Hope all goes really well for you all.

                And when your back stops aching,
                And your hands begin to harden.
                You will find yourself a partner,
                In the glory of the garden.

                Rudyard Kipling.sigpic

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                • #9
                  I've pm'd you. Big HUGS and to your Dad.XXXXXX
                  S*d the housework I have a lottie to dig
                  a batch of jam is always an act of creation ..Christine Ferber

                  You can't beat a bit of garden porn

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                  • #10
                    It's good to hear your Dad is settled into the home. Hopefully this will give your family some peace of mind by knowing someone is there 24 hours a day and of course your Dad will have lots of new company.

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                    • #11
                      Glad your dad is in a safe place GN. The bed sounds fab!
                      Best wishes to all of you xx
                      Kirsty b xx

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                      • #12
                        If I get to be incapable of looking after myself anf knowing what's going on I hope I end up in such a place. You can't expect family to give 24 hour care and attention without running themselves ragged. Don't feel ANY guilt, any of you. He will be safe and happy - what more could any of us ask in our final years?
                        Whoever plants a garden believes in the future.

                        www.vegheaven.blogspot.com Updated March 9th - Spring

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                        • #13
                          Glad you managed to sort things out. Sounds like a nice place and I am sure you will see him a lot. Big hugs to you all (not sure how to do those is it {{{{hug}}}}} yah
                          Updated my blog on 13 January

                          http://www.growfruitandveg.co.uk/gra.../blogs/stella/

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                          • #14
                            My heart goes out to you. Such a difficult decision to make but now he is getting good care and you have found him a good place. []
                            Last edited by summer; 14-02-2010, 09:55 AM.
                            ____________
                            Summer

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                            • #15
                              I know what a hard decision it was for you to make GN, but it sounds like your Dad has settled in well. Now you know he is being well looked after, and I think it's super that he's still living (relatively speaking) in the same place. Please pass on big hugs from me and waggy tails and wet licks from Dexter.
                              Bernie x
                              Bernie aka DDL

                              Appreciate the little things in life because one day you will realise they are the big things

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