Grow Your Own Magazine

A little insight from 'the other side'......


> > WORDS WOMEN USE
> > *****************************
> > FINE
> > This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are
> > right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman
> > looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
> >
> > FIVE MINUTES
> > This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
> > football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an
> > even trade.
> >
> > NOTHING
> > This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
> > usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
> > inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an
> > argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"
> >
> > GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
> > This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
> > "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
> >
> > GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
> > This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You
> > will get a" Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
> > "Nothing" and" Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes"
> > when she cools off.
> >
> > LOUD SIGH
> > This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
> > misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot
> > at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here
> > and arguing with you over "Nothing"
> >
> > SOFT SIGH
> > Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that
> > she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will
> > stay content.
> >
> > THAT'S OKAY
> > This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
> > man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
> > paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is
> > often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised
> > Eyebrow."
> >
> > GO AHEAD!
> > At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big
> > trouble.
> >
> > PLEASE DO
> > This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
> > chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing
> > whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the
> > truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"
> >
> > THANKS
> > A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
> >
> > THANKS A LOT
> > This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
> > when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have
> > offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud
> > Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she
> > will only tell you "Nothing"
> >


Hope that helps some of you along a bit????

Thanks for that Nicos, now i know where i have been going wrong all these years.

__________________
God bless all of us.

Nicos, over here you also missed the Gallic Shrug, which means everything and nothing!

I'm going to send HER a copy so she knows her little game has been rumbled!!!

__________________
TonyF, Dordogne 24220

The "deaf & dumb breakfast" The hangover from last night's argument

__________________
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields

You missed out
"And what do you mean by that?"

which means:
I know perfectly well what you mean , expect you to recant and apologise and whilst you do I'm thinking of a suitable revenge for you if you do apologise and an even worse one if you don't. I will also be in a huff for the rest of the day and say "that's fine", "Go ahead", "If you want to", "do what you like"... and sulk.

THE RULES

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


1-The Female always makes THE RULES.

2-THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3-No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4-If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.

5-The Female is never wrong.

6-If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7-If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8-The Female can change her mind at any time.

9-The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of The Female.

10-The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11-The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12-The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13-The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14-At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15-If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

16-If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.

17-Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

18-If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.

__________________
Et tū, quis es?

I see you have been well trained Beefy!!!!

Print them off ,stick them on the fridge door.live by them for a week - you'll never go back.

__________________
Et tū, quis es?

As long as you know your place boys!!

How about these......

She says ... She means ...
Yes No
No Yes
Maybe No
We need I want
I'm sorry You'll be sorry
We need to talk I need to complain
Sure...go ahead I don’t want you to
e next Is my butt fat? Tell me I'm beautiful
Do what you want You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset Of course I'm upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me?? Too late, you're dead
You have to learn to communicate Just agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights I have flabby thighs
You're so.. manly You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me? I'm going to ask for something expensive
It's your decision The correct decision should be obvious by now
You're certainly attentive tonight Is sex all you ever think about??
I'll be ready in a minute Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? I did something today that you're really not
going to like



He says ... He means ...
I'm hungry I'm hungry
I'm sleepy I'm sleepy
I'm tired I'm tired
Nice dress Nice cleavage!
I love you Let's have sex now
I'm bored Do you want to have sex?
What's wrong I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I love you, too Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
May I have this dance? I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Will you marry me? I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other
guys
You look tense, let me give you a massage I want to have sex with you

Let's talk I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit I am gay

__________________
Imagination is everything, it is a preview of what is to become.