Pootle's my BIL has not been a hands on dad and is starting from scratch with a 13 yr old going through a very difficult time, this is normal in their house, he never did anything for my sister and retired himself a few years ago through ill health plus he was made redundant about the same time. They dont know how to talk to each other and both come across agressive but so do most of his family who live away.
My sister was ill for 6 years so half of my nieces life, getting worse each year.
I lost my dad when i was 6 yrs old but its nothing compared to loosing a mum especially for a teenage girl.
Thanks to everyone for your support.