Difficult to tell from your description exactly what he's like, I guess the 'experts' have certain criteria they look for. It does sound as though he may need careful help with coping with changes/things not going his way etc. But a lot of children are like that ...

The reason the school is not keen to statement children is money! Pure and simple!! Also, I have found that the infant stage is the worst, partly because it's a given that infant teachers can cope with these children without any support, and partly because it is (quite rightly) thought that a diagnosis of a particular problem is not necessarily clear until the child reaches about 7 - when they go to the juniors. On many occasions, I had fought like mad for a child to be statemented, only for it to happen the minute he/she trotted off to the junior school.

Remember that in many european countries apart from ours, children are not expected to conform, take multitudinous tests, sit for ages being taught in a formal way etc, until they are about 6 or 7 years old, when many children are far more able to cope with it. In a school in Holland for example, D might well manage very well, but in a situation where he's expected to sit for a long time, or do a particular task he doesn't want to do, he may display behaviour problems. My point is, it doesn't necessarily mean he has a 'problem'.

I would emphasise again the need to be a pest to get the help he needs. You're quite right to have your Bloody Minded Hat firmly superglued to your head. Be supportive (to both your son, and his teacher), persistent, polite and calm, and you stand a good chance of getting the best for your son.

It sounds to me like you will.

Often teachers want exactly the same as you, but their hands are tied.

By the way, I once taught a little boy with Aspergers to play the violin - he got distinctions in both grade one and grade 2, before he moved on to secondary school! These children can be a joy, and their honesty is often quite sobering!!! Hard work, though. Good luck!